Chapter 38

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Will offered to help Nathan clean the dishes after their late lunch.  Nathan told him that washing dishes was his responsibility and that Will should feel free to take care of the work he had piled up in the studio.  Will headed out to the studio yet he did not feel free at all, despite what Nathan had told him.  As he crossed the walkway to the studio he looked out across the lake, paused, and then turned to walk toward the birch bench.  His walk to the bench, slow and determined, carried him through the same steps he had taken too many times to count since his youth.  On the bench, he pulled out his camels and took one from the pack.  He thought to himself that he smoked more lately.  He cuffed the cigarette when he lit the end and glanced up at the willow towering next to the bench then out to the lake.  He looked up at the tree again as he exhaled.  As Will peered at the willow he thought that there were things, such as what was bothering him now, which could not be hidden.  Still he took a posture away from the tree by resting both of his hands by his sides on the edge of the bench and leaned forward into them, peering out across the lake.  He slowly rocked back and forth occasionally sucking on his cigarette and then peeking up at the tree before turning his head back out to the lake.  When Will finally gathered enough courage, he lifted his eyes high into the tree and spoke.  “Sorry,” was all he said.  Emily and Will shared a love deep and dear.  Will felt Emily could hear him talking to her as closely as when they were young.  Will did not feel right about what he had done.  Abby got on the train congenially yet he knew things were still not right between them.

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