Chapter 35



Abby tried to understand her father.  “Don’t you think I knew that?” she asked.  She realized her eyes were watering again at the thought of her brother.

“I guess I knew you did, but I was ashamed.”

Abby put her hands in her face and sighed, “So this is what you’re doing to yourself?  Making amends by punishing yourself and me?”

“I don’t think I’m punishing anybody.”

“Of course not,” said Abby, “but you have to see yourself.  You need to let it go.”

“I just can’t.”

“Not the way you’re going about it.  I should’ve put two and two together a long time ago.  Stop blaming yourself.  Michael knew better.  He was a grown man, you need to stop taking all the credit for him being an idiot.”  Abby pulled her head up straight and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

“It’s not that easy,” said Will.

“It is,” said Abby, she felt as if she were speaking to a child, “I’m here for you, if you let me.  I always have been.”

“I know, I’m sorry I pushed you away.”

“Then why did you?”

“You were always with your mother.  You look like her, you talk like her, hell you even argue like her.  After she died, I saw her every time I looked into your eyes.  And it hurt, I miss her so much.”

“I miss her too,” said Abby, “but you didn’t have to ignore me.  I needed you.”

“You didn’t need me like you thought you did.  You’re strong like your Mother.  Michael, he needed me.  He was lost.  He could never go out in the world like you did.  He barely made it through high school.  You—well look at you—fancy job at one of the best museums in the world.  You’ve traveled places your mother and I never made it to.  You’ve seen things your mother never lived to see, things that I’ll never live to see.  You’re doing the things your mother would have wanted you to do.”  Will’s eyes were blue pools of water,  “Don’t you think I know you can throw a pot better than anyone?  I can teach any lummox to do what I do over time.  Your brother was always going to make a career here because he never could do anything else.  Your Mother nurtured you because you could do anything since you were small… like her.”

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